Jacob
2007-12-24 01:49:24 UTC
Every generation hands over the baton to the next, and disappears
after some time. This is the way God has planned for us in our life on
earth, and we need to be able to face it gracefully. If we keep the
right perspective with regards to our role in the continuing cycle of
life, much heartache can be avoided (Ps.90:12).
When we are born into this world, we are under the care of our parents
for a long time. Our parents make tremendous sacrifices to bring us up
and take care of us. But a time comes in our life when we have to
stand on our feet and make our own decisions. This becomes especially
true when we get married, leave our parents, and begin to cleave to
our spouses (Ge.2:24). Without imagining that we know better than our
parents, but recognising that they have a lot more experience than we,
we still need to make this transition. Knowing our own lack of
experience, we continue to look for advice from others including our
parents.
This can be a painful process for both our parents and us, as both
they and we have to let go of the psychological and social bonding
that has been there between us. But this is as necessary as having to
cut off the umbilical cord between the baby and the mother at the time
of birth. We are naturally afraid to let go of the security that we
used to enjoy of being under their protection, and they feel deprived
of someone they have taken so much pains to care for. This is not easy
to understand or accept unlike in the case of the umbilical cord.
As the cycle of life goes forward, there comes another time when we
have to let go of our children and they start their independent life.
It is not easy to let go because we sincerely fear that they would get
hurt without our protection. We may also feel insecure ourselves about
the support that we might need from our children in our old age. But
just as we received the baton from our previous generation, we have to
hand it over to the new generation.
Cutting the umbilical cord can be done swiftly and once for all, but
not so with this letting go of psychological and social bonding. This
has to be done gracefully as well as tactfully. We must not let the
anticipated pain hold us back, because this pain will lead to peace
and understanding in the long run. The break need not be swift or
harsh but stretched over a period of time, especially if the other
side is not willing to let go.
Children need to love and honour their parents. "Leaving" does not
mean ceasing to care or shirking responsibilities, but only
recognising and honouring the new realities and priorities.
Unwillingness for the hand over from generation to generation causes
suffering for everyone. Parents clinging on to control amounts to a
violation of boundaries, and children may feel frustrated because of
the interference. But recognising that the transition is inevitable
and for everyone's benefit, let us handle it wisely and graciously.
after some time. This is the way God has planned for us in our life on
earth, and we need to be able to face it gracefully. If we keep the
right perspective with regards to our role in the continuing cycle of
life, much heartache can be avoided (Ps.90:12).
When we are born into this world, we are under the care of our parents
for a long time. Our parents make tremendous sacrifices to bring us up
and take care of us. But a time comes in our life when we have to
stand on our feet and make our own decisions. This becomes especially
true when we get married, leave our parents, and begin to cleave to
our spouses (Ge.2:24). Without imagining that we know better than our
parents, but recognising that they have a lot more experience than we,
we still need to make this transition. Knowing our own lack of
experience, we continue to look for advice from others including our
parents.
This can be a painful process for both our parents and us, as both
they and we have to let go of the psychological and social bonding
that has been there between us. But this is as necessary as having to
cut off the umbilical cord between the baby and the mother at the time
of birth. We are naturally afraid to let go of the security that we
used to enjoy of being under their protection, and they feel deprived
of someone they have taken so much pains to care for. This is not easy
to understand or accept unlike in the case of the umbilical cord.
As the cycle of life goes forward, there comes another time when we
have to let go of our children and they start their independent life.
It is not easy to let go because we sincerely fear that they would get
hurt without our protection. We may also feel insecure ourselves about
the support that we might need from our children in our old age. But
just as we received the baton from our previous generation, we have to
hand it over to the new generation.
Cutting the umbilical cord can be done swiftly and once for all, but
not so with this letting go of psychological and social bonding. This
has to be done gracefully as well as tactfully. We must not let the
anticipated pain hold us back, because this pain will lead to peace
and understanding in the long run. The break need not be swift or
harsh but stretched over a period of time, especially if the other
side is not willing to let go.
Children need to love and honour their parents. "Leaving" does not
mean ceasing to care or shirking responsibilities, but only
recognising and honouring the new realities and priorities.
Unwillingness for the hand over from generation to generation causes
suffering for everyone. Parents clinging on to control amounts to a
violation of boundaries, and children may feel frustrated because of
the interference. But recognising that the transition is inevitable
and for everyone's benefit, let us handle it wisely and graciously.