Jacob
2007-11-05 00:35:29 UTC
Usually, when a boy and girl "fall in love", they are looking for
something from the other. Generally speaking, for the boy it is sexual
attraction and for the girl it is a desire for affection and security.
In a society with loose morals, the girl gives her body thinking that
she will gain affection from the boy, and the boy shows affection
looking for her body. They both fool each other thinking that they are
'in love'! Romantic songs proclaim, "I can't live without you" because
each one is looking for the other to fulfill some need in their own
lives. Of course this is not love. It is a wolf in sheep's clothing,
selfishness dressed up as love.
When God loves us, He demonstrates it through giving. His supreme act
of love was when He gave His Son Jesus to die in our place so that we
could be saved (Jn.3:16). And now that we have become His children
through faith, He works in us and around us to do good for us (Ro.
8:28;Php.2:13). His kind of love is self-giving and not self-seeking.
The reason why our kind of love fails is that we keep expecting to
receive from the ones we 'love', instead of learning to give. Even in
marriages where the couples have been deeply in 'love' before they got
married, relationships fail as the wolves slowly shed away their
sheep's clothing. When selfishness begins to come out into the open
and each of the couples finds that the other one is not meeting their
needs, 'love' fails, and perhaps hatred begins to take its place.
Real love is something we have to learn and grow into. It takes time,
perseverance and self-denial. It is not something we can 'fall into'
or experience on 'first sight'. Even marriages which begin with sudden
infatuation have to grow into self-denying love if they have to
survive. Instead of looking for something for ourselves from the
others, we have to learn to value the others for themselves and keep
desiring to do something for them. 'Expectations' and 'demands', and
'self-interests' are the enemies of love.
God's love is genuinely interested in our welfare (Je.29:11). He won't
withhold anything good from us, even when He has to deny Himself and
suffer for it (Ro.8:32). He wants to pour this love into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit (Ro.5:5). But we cannot have this love in us
if we are not willing to deny ourselves. Selfishness is the enemy of
love (1Co.13:5). When we are acting out of selfishness we cannot make
way for love.
'Denying ourselves' does not mean that we ignore our own needs,
suppress or repress them. That would be unrealistic and unhealthy. But
what we need to do is to put the others first (Php.2:3 NASB). When we
love the others, and demonstrate this love in self-denying ways, that
will prompt them to love us too.
It may happen in this sin-filled world that people continue to be
selfish even when we show them true love. That calls for a higher form
of self-denial. But let that also not stop us from loving them.
something from the other. Generally speaking, for the boy it is sexual
attraction and for the girl it is a desire for affection and security.
In a society with loose morals, the girl gives her body thinking that
she will gain affection from the boy, and the boy shows affection
looking for her body. They both fool each other thinking that they are
'in love'! Romantic songs proclaim, "I can't live without you" because
each one is looking for the other to fulfill some need in their own
lives. Of course this is not love. It is a wolf in sheep's clothing,
selfishness dressed up as love.
When God loves us, He demonstrates it through giving. His supreme act
of love was when He gave His Son Jesus to die in our place so that we
could be saved (Jn.3:16). And now that we have become His children
through faith, He works in us and around us to do good for us (Ro.
8:28;Php.2:13). His kind of love is self-giving and not self-seeking.
The reason why our kind of love fails is that we keep expecting to
receive from the ones we 'love', instead of learning to give. Even in
marriages where the couples have been deeply in 'love' before they got
married, relationships fail as the wolves slowly shed away their
sheep's clothing. When selfishness begins to come out into the open
and each of the couples finds that the other one is not meeting their
needs, 'love' fails, and perhaps hatred begins to take its place.
Real love is something we have to learn and grow into. It takes time,
perseverance and self-denial. It is not something we can 'fall into'
or experience on 'first sight'. Even marriages which begin with sudden
infatuation have to grow into self-denying love if they have to
survive. Instead of looking for something for ourselves from the
others, we have to learn to value the others for themselves and keep
desiring to do something for them. 'Expectations' and 'demands', and
'self-interests' are the enemies of love.
God's love is genuinely interested in our welfare (Je.29:11). He won't
withhold anything good from us, even when He has to deny Himself and
suffer for it (Ro.8:32). He wants to pour this love into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit (Ro.5:5). But we cannot have this love in us
if we are not willing to deny ourselves. Selfishness is the enemy of
love (1Co.13:5). When we are acting out of selfishness we cannot make
way for love.
'Denying ourselves' does not mean that we ignore our own needs,
suppress or repress them. That would be unrealistic and unhealthy. But
what we need to do is to put the others first (Php.2:3 NASB). When we
love the others, and demonstrate this love in self-denying ways, that
will prompt them to love us too.
It may happen in this sin-filled world that people continue to be
selfish even when we show them true love. That calls for a higher form
of self-denial. But let that also not stop us from loving them.