Terence Nesbit
2008-08-04 02:05:31 UTC
I'm not the proper person to speak about relationships. I have been through
some rough patches myself. But I am going to talk about relationships
anyway.
What is a relationship? A relationship is the presence of a man and a woman
in a situation where they agree to see each other exclusively. This is the
only type of relationship that can exist. Any other relationship is one of
friendship, and everyone knows that it is not easy being friends with
someone.
Why does a relationship have to be exclusive? A relationship is based on an
interaction between the two people involved in it. There is a give and a
take. You accept some things, they accept some things, and the two agree on
things for their mutual benefit. There may be certain activities performed
by one or the other, whether this is considered to be fair or construed by
those in particular positions of authority, but that is how it has to be.
When a relationship is not exclusive, people can walk away easily. There is
less of an attachment between the two people. People can also mistake their
emotions in those instances when they do not have anyone else. A
relationship should not be a last resort.
There is a need for exclusivity. There is something called an anticipatory
mental set. That is required for chemistry. But how can exclusivity exist
when you can think of another at almost any time? Your actions and
reactions change. Your needs change when there is less exclusivity. Do you
cling to the kids? Are they the reason to stay together, or not to be alone
together? Are they your out, instead of their being someone else? Or can
you just think of someone, and then you wonder why your "significant other"
is frustrated - which must be reasonable at any rate? Why don't you see a
"connection" between you and some other person when you can think about
someone else? Why can't you think about your partner? Is it because there
is a history, you had that? It makes no sense. Too many people have had
long lasting relationships for none to be that way now.
But this is where we find ourselves as a community of people. It is easy to
cheat, it is easy to disregard love, it is easy to accept just anything (be
that all of the wrong things too, injuries come to mind). But it really
isn't easy. People are depressed, is that because of all of the
relationships pulling them every which way? They are so proud to have
meaningless relationships, but are they really?
There are certain truths that cannot be denied. The worst harlot in the
world started out wanting just one other person, unless that is what she
wanted (there are those that want to do the world but not all harlots are
this way). Everybody has emotional needs as well as physical needs, and
they are best met when both are met together. We can't detach ourselves
from our needs and say we are healthy.
I hope this helps.
some rough patches myself. But I am going to talk about relationships
anyway.
What is a relationship? A relationship is the presence of a man and a woman
in a situation where they agree to see each other exclusively. This is the
only type of relationship that can exist. Any other relationship is one of
friendship, and everyone knows that it is not easy being friends with
someone.
Why does a relationship have to be exclusive? A relationship is based on an
interaction between the two people involved in it. There is a give and a
take. You accept some things, they accept some things, and the two agree on
things for their mutual benefit. There may be certain activities performed
by one or the other, whether this is considered to be fair or construed by
those in particular positions of authority, but that is how it has to be.
When a relationship is not exclusive, people can walk away easily. There is
less of an attachment between the two people. People can also mistake their
emotions in those instances when they do not have anyone else. A
relationship should not be a last resort.
There is a need for exclusivity. There is something called an anticipatory
mental set. That is required for chemistry. But how can exclusivity exist
when you can think of another at almost any time? Your actions and
reactions change. Your needs change when there is less exclusivity. Do you
cling to the kids? Are they the reason to stay together, or not to be alone
together? Are they your out, instead of their being someone else? Or can
you just think of someone, and then you wonder why your "significant other"
is frustrated - which must be reasonable at any rate? Why don't you see a
"connection" between you and some other person when you can think about
someone else? Why can't you think about your partner? Is it because there
is a history, you had that? It makes no sense. Too many people have had
long lasting relationships for none to be that way now.
But this is where we find ourselves as a community of people. It is easy to
cheat, it is easy to disregard love, it is easy to accept just anything (be
that all of the wrong things too, injuries come to mind). But it really
isn't easy. People are depressed, is that because of all of the
relationships pulling them every which way? They are so proud to have
meaningless relationships, but are they really?
There are certain truths that cannot be denied. The worst harlot in the
world started out wanting just one other person, unless that is what she
wanted (there are those that want to do the world but not all harlots are
this way). Everybody has emotional needs as well as physical needs, and
they are best met when both are met together. We can't detach ourselves
from our needs and say we are healthy.
I hope this helps.